It's a rainy Saturday night. We just got home from a great service at our church. I am excited about the direction Destiny is headed. People are opening up about being REAL. I mean REALLY REAL.
That's what this blog is about. Finding out who I am, really. My faults and disappointments, my ups and downs. The sad and happy. But, telling you like I really am and dropping this facade of who you think I am.
I still believe I'm a good person. I do good things and am helpful. Who you see is still real, but there is a part of me that needs healing without judgment.
I can't be the only one with these thoughts.
Anyway, here's an update. I've dropped below 200 pounds this week. I've lost a total of 22 1/2 pounds since Oct 1. I am hoping to stay on track and by my birthday be able to wear the really cute clothes I bought in Chicago 2 years ago when I was a size 6.
I am at a point with the work room that we can start moving to the office and get that organized. Tonight I'm working on the garage so we can put all the kitchen remodeling equipment and merchandise.
I have until Tuesday to get our home back in order and clean before the family crew arrives for the holiday programs at school and to celebrate Christmas with Mom and Dad.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday 12/7
It was a crazy weekend! Breakfast with Santa, sleep overs, church, Pampered Chef party, lots of house work...
We did empty (mostly) the kids closet downstairs. I had several boxes for each kid for keep, trash and give away. We threw 2 boxes away, gave 2 boxes away and sorted and organized the rest. We still have to do their rooms, but I feel like we are making progress.
t
Church was amazing...If you ever get the chance to visit on-line destinychurch.org and check out the pod casts. This last one was fantastic.
By the way I'm fed up with my computer! It has serious issues and I can write for more than 20 seconds without it messing up. For instance when you start to see missing sections as above it's because the mouse has a mind of its own. Thus, I get frustrated and would rather wait til David is home so I can use his. TTFN because I'm done with this computer! Ciao!
We did empty (mostly) the kids closet downstairs. I had several boxes for each kid for keep, trash and give away. We threw 2 boxes away, gave 2 boxes away and sorted and organized the rest. We still have to do their rooms, but I feel like we are making progress.
t
Church was amazing...If you ever get the chance to visit on-line destinychurch.org and check out the pod casts. This last one was fantastic.
By the way I'm fed up with my computer! It has serious issues and I can write for more than 20 seconds without it messing up. For instance when you start to see missing sections as above it's because the mouse has a mind of its own. Thus, I get frustrated and would rather wait til David is home so I can use his. TTFN because I'm done with this computer! Ciao!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Thursday 12/3
Our home is coming along...We have space to walk in the basement and the kids are beginning to take their chores seriously.
We've been running ourselves ragged from one after school program to another. How much is too much? So, I'm thankful soccer season is over. Guitar is almost over. All that's left is gymnastics, brownies, choir and k-kids. Still a lot!
We've been running ourselves ragged from one after school program to another. How much is too much? So, I'm thankful soccer season is over. Guitar is almost over. All that's left is gymnastics, brownies, choir and k-kids. Still a lot!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday Morning
Our new garage door opener is installed. In order to install the opener, work had to be done in the garage. Trash, trash, trash. Also, purge, purge, purge! Yippee. My vision is coming to fruition!
The "newer" kitchen will be installed the 18th of December! I am beginning to feel a bit more orderly.
Now, if we could stop getting sick, I would get so much more done. I have 2 little ones home again and doctor appointments. I think I spend more money on doctors than anything else.
Blessings to everyone today!
The "newer" kitchen will be installed the 18th of December! I am beginning to feel a bit more orderly.
Now, if we could stop getting sick, I would get so much more done. I have 2 little ones home again and doctor appointments. I think I spend more money on doctors than anything else.
Blessings to everyone today!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Out of town guests...
The thought occurred to me when we were invited to attend a party...I should stay home with Michael and let David and the girls go. Why? Not sure that a nice semi-formal party is a good venue for our son. Maybe I'm not the best mom in the world that I can't control my son being bored. We brought toys, there would be food and cake. His sisters were there to play with. He lasted all of an hour and 1/2. Then he bolted for the door and ready to leave. After chasing him twice, I said "that's it, were going home." I grabbed the keys, headed to the car and chewed him out royally all the way back to the farm. Threatening that he would not get a birthday party because why should a 6 year old who can't contain himself for a few hours to honor someone else be honored with a party for himself?
Is this too rough? How about he doesn't get to go to the next birthday party for his friends? What if instead, I begin a social blitz? What if I take him to every event expose him to situations that he HAS to adapt too and can't run away from? I have done a disservice to our children by keeping them at home for so many events because I didn't want the hassle and commotion that comes along with bringing your children. I don't enjoy the embarrassment when they are rude or act up during an event. David never really has been one to encourage taking the children to venues either. So, did we screw this up? And can this be rectified this late in the game?
I'm embarrassed that I'm being so candid, but I can't be the only parent who feels this way. I'm just saying it out loud for the world to hear.
I do love my kids. I love our time at home, playing games and talking and snuggling. Sometimes, when we venture out, it's not too bad and we're surprised. I can tell that Michael is maturing...I just can't understand why none of our kids are as outgoing and social as we are, or were growing up. I loved parties and always enjoyed being around my parents and their friends. I was stuck most of the time making up games and hanging out by myself at these gatherings. Not a lot of kids my age to play with. I'm sure I annoyed my parents with I'm bored can we go? I'm hungry, what can I do? Frankly, my parents didn't give in and they ignored me. I didn't want to be like that with our kids. I wanted them to know I care about their feelings and wants and needs. Well, maybe I've just given them too much.
Well, maybe I'm just too tired to really think this through. Any thoughts from anyone else? Besides the suggestion that I might need counseling?
Is this too rough? How about he doesn't get to go to the next birthday party for his friends? What if instead, I begin a social blitz? What if I take him to every event expose him to situations that he HAS to adapt too and can't run away from? I have done a disservice to our children by keeping them at home for so many events because I didn't want the hassle and commotion that comes along with bringing your children. I don't enjoy the embarrassment when they are rude or act up during an event. David never really has been one to encourage taking the children to venues either. So, did we screw this up? And can this be rectified this late in the game?
I'm embarrassed that I'm being so candid, but I can't be the only parent who feels this way. I'm just saying it out loud for the world to hear.
I do love my kids. I love our time at home, playing games and talking and snuggling. Sometimes, when we venture out, it's not too bad and we're surprised. I can tell that Michael is maturing...I just can't understand why none of our kids are as outgoing and social as we are, or were growing up. I loved parties and always enjoyed being around my parents and their friends. I was stuck most of the time making up games and hanging out by myself at these gatherings. Not a lot of kids my age to play with. I'm sure I annoyed my parents with I'm bored can we go? I'm hungry, what can I do? Frankly, my parents didn't give in and they ignored me. I didn't want to be like that with our kids. I wanted them to know I care about their feelings and wants and needs. Well, maybe I've just given them too much.
Well, maybe I'm just too tired to really think this through. Any thoughts from anyone else? Besides the suggestion that I might need counseling?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving Day
We had a great day. Just David and the kids. It was our first official Thanksgiving day that neither of our parents or friend cooked the dinner. The meal was planned, all items were presented and the kids ate about 3 things. Lot's of left overs and thinking, pizza for next year. Although I do love to cook!
I didn't exactly stick to a diet today, but one day wont do too much damage (I hope). I've been so excited about losing weight that days like this could really set me back. I am an eater. I love to eat junk! Surprisingly, when the cookies came around I did scrape off the icing (which I love). It was too rich! Never, ever do I say that!
We worked so hard getting the house together yesterday so we could enjoy today, and it also stayed in order. We spent most of the day watching movies, snuggling, napping and playing the Wii.
Michael stopped in the middle of the game, looked around and said, "Hey, our whole family is together!" It's true we don't spend enough time together as a family. Each kid usually occupies a specific amount of time during the day, but hardly do we do activities as a family. Even on outings, everyone goes their separate ways.
I've watched friends of ours that when they are with their family, they are really connected. I feel a disconnect sometimes. Maybe it's my Adult ADD that keeps me from focusing. Tomorrow, I'm making an effort to sit with all of them and play a game or do a puzzle.
You might be reading this and thinking this is a no brainer, but for our little family we've become distant over the last few years. There's been a lot of strain on our marriage, health and finances. Instead of turning inward to our family as support we sought avenues to help us cope that weren't family oriented. My goal is to switch that around. For our little family is so important to God that we are weaved tightly together!
Blessings to you and yours! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
I didn't exactly stick to a diet today, but one day wont do too much damage (I hope). I've been so excited about losing weight that days like this could really set me back. I am an eater. I love to eat junk! Surprisingly, when the cookies came around I did scrape off the icing (which I love). It was too rich! Never, ever do I say that!
We worked so hard getting the house together yesterday so we could enjoy today, and it also stayed in order. We spent most of the day watching movies, snuggling, napping and playing the Wii.
Michael stopped in the middle of the game, looked around and said, "Hey, our whole family is together!" It's true we don't spend enough time together as a family. Each kid usually occupies a specific amount of time during the day, but hardly do we do activities as a family. Even on outings, everyone goes their separate ways.
I've watched friends of ours that when they are with their family, they are really connected. I feel a disconnect sometimes. Maybe it's my Adult ADD that keeps me from focusing. Tomorrow, I'm making an effort to sit with all of them and play a game or do a puzzle.
You might be reading this and thinking this is a no brainer, but for our little family we've become distant over the last few years. There's been a lot of strain on our marriage, health and finances. Instead of turning inward to our family as support we sought avenues to help us cope that weren't family oriented. My goal is to switch that around. For our little family is so important to God that we are weaved tightly together!
Blessings to you and yours! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I've been sick
The last week has been difficult. I've been battling with sickness and I have zero energy. Plus getting ready for Thanksgiving and all the school activities. It seems that I've slacked on my blogging.
I have lost a total of 20 pounds now. The basement is in much better shape! We actually had a sleep over and all the kids were able to play downstairs!
I've been doing some soul searching and I am making a choice to give up TV. Which is really hard for me because I have a few shows that are my favorites, but there are better things to spend my time on. The only shows I'll watch (aside from all the kids shows that are on during the day...) DIY shows, educational and news. We'll see how that goes.
I've been able to keep up with the FLY lady ideas and I'm getting some great plans together to decorate the house. We've been purging quite a few things and that feels great.
As far as meal planning...still needing to dedicate some time to making plans and lists.
Hope all is well with everyone and keep reading. I'll keep the post coming!
I have lost a total of 20 pounds now. The basement is in much better shape! We actually had a sleep over and all the kids were able to play downstairs!
I've been doing some soul searching and I am making a choice to give up TV. Which is really hard for me because I have a few shows that are my favorites, but there are better things to spend my time on. The only shows I'll watch (aside from all the kids shows that are on during the day...) DIY shows, educational and news. We'll see how that goes.
I've been able to keep up with the FLY lady ideas and I'm getting some great plans together to decorate the house. We've been purging quite a few things and that feels great.
As far as meal planning...still needing to dedicate some time to making plans and lists.
Hope all is well with everyone and keep reading. I'll keep the post coming!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I am my father's daughter (well, mom's too)
I'm wanting to kick myself over and over again for the torment that I put my kids through. My controlling behavior, the need to make sure every little thing is in order and that my kids are following my orders to a "t."
Reminded of the days of my youth. I was terrified if I messed up. If I lost something or spilled a drink, I would get the wrath of my parents. Of course, today they love to sit around and laugh about how I would have panic attacks because I wasn't organized enough in the mornings to get on the bus and would forget something 30 seconds before the bus even arrived.
I can see me doing the same thing to my kids. Although, I don't freak out about accidents I will lose it when they wont wear clothes we spent a lot of money on, or lost something that was expensive (notice money is the issue here), or when they wont eat their dinner or clean their room. All of which I said I would never treat them the way I was treated. Vows, should never make them. Woops! Hard habit to break.
Sofia my darling little angle who is the sweetest of the all caught my ranting about her snow hat being lost. That I had asked time and time again for her to look for it and yet, I know it's gone...she will not find it, but I want her to "feel bad" so she has learned her lesson. In the mean time, she feels bad because she learned a lesson and is now having a panic attacks, feeling ashamed and guilty. Where I differ from from parents is the fact that I do apologize to my kids for my rash behavior. I expect my kids to keep in control and then I act just like a child myself and expect them to just accept it.
Change has to happen and soon. I want to have a good relationship with my kids now. Not 20 years down the road when they've grown up to realize (like I had) that my mom and dad did the best they could and I love them no matter what. I also don't want them as damaged and have to learn how to modify their behavior when they become adults.
I pray that Jesus will save me from myself and direct me to chill out in the future.
Reminded of the days of my youth. I was terrified if I messed up. If I lost something or spilled a drink, I would get the wrath of my parents. Of course, today they love to sit around and laugh about how I would have panic attacks because I wasn't organized enough in the mornings to get on the bus and would forget something 30 seconds before the bus even arrived.
I can see me doing the same thing to my kids. Although, I don't freak out about accidents I will lose it when they wont wear clothes we spent a lot of money on, or lost something that was expensive (notice money is the issue here), or when they wont eat their dinner or clean their room. All of which I said I would never treat them the way I was treated. Vows, should never make them. Woops! Hard habit to break.
Sofia my darling little angle who is the sweetest of the all caught my ranting about her snow hat being lost. That I had asked time and time again for her to look for it and yet, I know it's gone...she will not find it, but I want her to "feel bad" so she has learned her lesson. In the mean time, she feels bad because she learned a lesson and is now having a panic attacks, feeling ashamed and guilty. Where I differ from from parents is the fact that I do apologize to my kids for my rash behavior. I expect my kids to keep in control and then I act just like a child myself and expect them to just accept it.
Change has to happen and soon. I want to have a good relationship with my kids now. Not 20 years down the road when they've grown up to realize (like I had) that my mom and dad did the best they could and I love them no matter what. I also don't want them as damaged and have to learn how to modify their behavior when they become adults.
I pray that Jesus will save me from myself and direct me to chill out in the future.
Monday, November 16, 2009
A brilliant man
This post is dedicated to Whitney Harris. If you don't know who he is, you should look it up. He was a prosecutor for the Nuremberg Trials. He also is a very good friend of mines step father. I've had the great honor of meeting this man and I truly find him to be one of the most amazing intelligent human being on earth. And only know him briefly, I am forever touched by his wisdom. Enjoy:
http://www.prx.org/pieces/13571-this-i-believe-whitney-harris#description
http://www.prx.org/pieces/13571-this-i-believe-whitney-harris#description
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Finally did it
I've started the process...basement is getting unpacked and organized. Lot's thrown away and put away! Yeah us!
By the way, I've lost 18 pounds.
By the way, I've lost 18 pounds.
Sunday
Went to see a movie with the girls and their friends on Saturday. We saw a Christmas Carol (not in 3D). I believe this will be the new classic. Fantastic. I'll have to go see the 3D with David. Although there are some fabulous films left to be seen this year.
The day continued to raking leaves and more friends running around the hood. I love it when all the kids are at our house. Growing up, it was not really like that. Not that Mom and Dad didn't want us to have a houseful of friends, we just lived in the country and few neighbors. That was fine, we had lots of animals and several acres to explore. That's where my imagination took blossomed and overcame me.
Insightful. I need to spend more time daydreaming about Jesus, worship and prayer! Life would be balanced if I could use my time a little more wisely.
Thus, good bye for now. We need to figure out where to put the tree this year!
The day continued to raking leaves and more friends running around the hood. I love it when all the kids are at our house. Growing up, it was not really like that. Not that Mom and Dad didn't want us to have a houseful of friends, we just lived in the country and few neighbors. That was fine, we had lots of animals and several acres to explore. That's where my imagination took blossomed and overcame me.
Insightful. I need to spend more time daydreaming about Jesus, worship and prayer! Life would be balanced if I could use my time a little more wisely.
Thus, good bye for now. We need to figure out where to put the tree this year!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Weekends are a bummer
This is the time when everyone is home...all day. That means more work. I need to set a plan into motion about how to keep the house from being destroyed the minute they wake up.
Friday, November 13, 2009
We had a great day!
Michael and I had so much fun today. The kids had friends over and we played Pac Man tag outside. Dinner for the family was simple tonight...Breakfast. One of the friends asked why we were eating breakfast food at dinner. And if we do that, would we eat dinner at breakfast? I said sure! Why not?
I did not get to the basement tonight, to many distractions. I still feel like I accomplished so much today! The upstairs looks great, I fed the kids, spent time with them and took care of myself a little, too.
Lord, I thank you for the little things and the big things. You are an amazing God! I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. I pray that you cover our leaders in our nation, protect the pre-born, protect the children, cover the church leaders around the worlds with protection! Amen.
I did not get to the basement tonight, to many distractions. I still feel like I accomplished so much today! The upstairs looks great, I fed the kids, spent time with them and took care of myself a little, too.
Lord, I thank you for the little things and the big things. You are an amazing God! I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. I pray that you cover our leaders in our nation, protect the pre-born, protect the children, cover the church leaders around the worlds with protection! Amen.
I was made to love you!
I think I've bitten off more than I can chew today. I was hoping to kick some basement butt! That was until I peeked into my kids rooms. Thinking they need attention first.
Michael will be home soon and I need to focus some attention on him. The basement can wait til tonight when everyone can pitch in! We'll make it a game...TTFN
This is on the SAT radio right now. Love this song! Enjoy the lyrics...
Michael will be home soon and I need to focus some attention on him. The basement can wait til tonight when everyone can pitch in! We'll make it a game...TTFN
This is on the SAT radio right now. Love this song! Enjoy the lyrics...
tobyMac - Made To Love Lyrics
The dream is fading, now I'm staring at the door
I know its over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain't feelin what I see
It's no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that...
I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me I was made to love
and be loved by you
The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide
Back in the ring you've got me swinging for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin vapors on my dreams
But I still believe
I'm reachin out, reachin up, reachin over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And daddy I'm on my way
Cause I was made to love...
I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me I was made to love
and be loved by you
I was made to love you
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love
And be loved by you
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said you'd keep me
Never would you leave me I was made to love
and be loved by you
Anything I would give up for you
Everything, I'd give it all away
Cause I was made to love you (I was made to love you)
Yeah I was made to love you (I was made to find you)
Cause I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you) (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)
I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you)
Cause I was made to love you (I was made to adore you, made just for you) (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)
I was made to love you (I was made to adore you)
Yeah I'm loved by you
November 13
I will draw my strength from the Lord today! Would love to crawl back into bed after the kids are on the bus and off to school! It's one of those mornings where the temperature is perfect to be snuggled under the covers with your puppy dog and get lots of extra sleep. Instead, I am determined that I will let Jesus be in control of my day, he's telling me to get in gear and start my day. Yummy cappuccino! And Worship music. Thank you Lord!
When the decision was made to start this blog, I was watching Rachel Ray. She had Martha Stewart as a guest. And I thought, that woman first of all knows who she is. She makes no excuses. None. Her determination to make life a "good thing" is commendable. Some of her tactics questionable, but she's fine with it. I wished she would come and Martha Stewart my life. Get my house organized, teach me how to cook better, show me how to take time to do crafts, etc...My thoughts ventured to why can't I just teach myself. What happened to my drive to be successful? So, I'm not a network journalist. I haven't written books and haven't been a war correspondent like I had set out to be. I can be a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen, and I can fold a mean fitted sheet! By golly, I can plan a party that would make you feel like you were the president. Problem is, I've slacked off. I became lazy. Now I'm searching for direction and help to get back on track. Flylady.com, Martha Stewart, It's here somewhere book, and above all the Bible will be some of my guides. Along with good friends who have my best interest at heart.
I've started with Flylady.com and I've been doing the "clean sink" for about a year. You pour bleach in with hot water to the brim and let it sit for an hour. Then you scrub around the sink and clean it till it sparkles. Everyday you keep it clean and dry, no dishes left sitting in it or on the cabinet. You'd be surprised about how good this makes you feel. Once you start with the sink the rest of the kitchen falls into place. My kitchen is constantly evolving! Secondly, I started my binder. I'm on step 2. Going to step 3 today!
My life has been one giant step to giant step. I need to make the change to taking baby steps. For those of you who aren't aware of our situation...We went through a series of stressful situations in our life. It started with the purchasing of a beautiful big home. It would be our demise. We have since sold that house and moved into a small home with all of our bigger home stuffings. Trying to force all that into this house has been the bane of my existence. We've been here since March and still haven't unpacked the basement. I am determined, today, I am going to pull up my boot straps, grab trash bags, and start the process of clearing out the basement. It is a depressing job. It hurts to go down there. I become overwhelmed and utterly paralized. By the end of today I expect to see the floor.
Here's to day 2, Lord give me the strength the change the things I can and the grace to accept what I can not change.
When the decision was made to start this blog, I was watching Rachel Ray. She had Martha Stewart as a guest. And I thought, that woman first of all knows who she is. She makes no excuses. None. Her determination to make life a "good thing" is commendable. Some of her tactics questionable, but she's fine with it. I wished she would come and Martha Stewart my life. Get my house organized, teach me how to cook better, show me how to take time to do crafts, etc...My thoughts ventured to why can't I just teach myself. What happened to my drive to be successful? So, I'm not a network journalist. I haven't written books and haven't been a war correspondent like I had set out to be. I can be a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen, and I can fold a mean fitted sheet! By golly, I can plan a party that would make you feel like you were the president. Problem is, I've slacked off. I became lazy. Now I'm searching for direction and help to get back on track. Flylady.com, Martha Stewart, It's here somewhere book, and above all the Bible will be some of my guides. Along with good friends who have my best interest at heart.
I've started with Flylady.com and I've been doing the "clean sink" for about a year. You pour bleach in with hot water to the brim and let it sit for an hour. Then you scrub around the sink and clean it till it sparkles. Everyday you keep it clean and dry, no dishes left sitting in it or on the cabinet. You'd be surprised about how good this makes you feel. Once you start with the sink the rest of the kitchen falls into place. My kitchen is constantly evolving! Secondly, I started my binder. I'm on step 2. Going to step 3 today!
My life has been one giant step to giant step. I need to make the change to taking baby steps. For those of you who aren't aware of our situation...We went through a series of stressful situations in our life. It started with the purchasing of a beautiful big home. It would be our demise. We have since sold that house and moved into a small home with all of our bigger home stuffings. Trying to force all that into this house has been the bane of my existence. We've been here since March and still haven't unpacked the basement. I am determined, today, I am going to pull up my boot straps, grab trash bags, and start the process of clearing out the basement. It is a depressing job. It hurts to go down there. I become overwhelmed and utterly paralized. By the end of today I expect to see the floor.
Here's to day 2, Lord give me the strength the change the things I can and the grace to accept what I can not change.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
November 12, 2009
I've decided to come out of the closet today. I am going to reveal that I have not been honest with myself or anybody else in cyberspace about who I am. The pictures you see on-line are me. However, they are a few years old. There is ONE, but my husband made me "look" different. The truth is...I weigh 202 pounds. That's difficult to admit. I mean really difficult.
I always was thin until kids. I lost all the weight with each one. About 2 years after the birth of our son I began to gain weight again. It threw me because I was a fitness instructor, spinning and Pilates. I shouldn't be gaining weight at the rate I was packing it on. After a year I put on 60 pounds. Then I thought I found the reason and found a diet that was very unreasonable to stick to. And, I lost all the weight. Then I had a hysterectomy. Then some very serious stressful months and years and illness. Which I will get into later...I packed on 90 pounds. Say what? Yes 90 pounds. I weighed more than I ever did pregnant.
I didn't want to be seen by anybody. It's embarrassing for me to go anywhere, because I have limited clothing. I didn't want anybody to know I had gained this much weight. The list goes on...My friends have been very supportive and still love me, but the vanity and pride have taken over who I am. I will also go in to details later.
Which brings me to today. I am going to blog about my journey to better health, better daily habits, better parenting, better friending, better homemaking, better wife...but more importantly a better daughter to God.
If you'll come with me, I'll have lots of questions that need answering and you'll be able to see my progress. I hope with this it might encourage other's who are in need of self exploration and getting centered on Jesus.
Kristin
I've decided to come out of the closet today. I am going to reveal that I have not been honest with myself or anybody else in cyberspace about who I am. The pictures you see on-line are me. However, they are a few years old. There is ONE, but my husband made me "look" different. The truth is...I weigh 202 pounds. That's difficult to admit. I mean really difficult.
I always was thin until kids. I lost all the weight with each one. About 2 years after the birth of our son I began to gain weight again. It threw me because I was a fitness instructor, spinning and Pilates. I shouldn't be gaining weight at the rate I was packing it on. After a year I put on 60 pounds. Then I thought I found the reason and found a diet that was very unreasonable to stick to. And, I lost all the weight. Then I had a hysterectomy. Then some very serious stressful months and years and illness. Which I will get into later...I packed on 90 pounds. Say what? Yes 90 pounds. I weighed more than I ever did pregnant.
I didn't want to be seen by anybody. It's embarrassing for me to go anywhere, because I have limited clothing. I didn't want anybody to know I had gained this much weight. The list goes on...My friends have been very supportive and still love me, but the vanity and pride have taken over who I am. I will also go in to details later.
Which brings me to today. I am going to blog about my journey to better health, better daily habits, better parenting, better friending, better homemaking, better wife...but more importantly a better daughter to God.
If you'll come with me, I'll have lots of questions that need answering and you'll be able to see my progress. I hope with this it might encourage other's who are in need of self exploration and getting centered on Jesus.
Kristin
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